diff --git a/src/hooks/useDirectMessages.ts b/src/hooks/useDirectMessages.ts
index ebf4dca0..8d1fe4be 100644
--- a/src/hooks/useDirectMessages.ts
+++ b/src/hooks/useDirectMessages.ts
@@ -65,17 +65,69 @@ export function useDirectMessages() {
 
       // Both directions of every conversation we're part of: messages we sent
       // (authors = self) and messages addressed to us (#p = self).
-      const events = await nostr.query(
-        [
-          { kinds: [DM_KIND], authors: [self] },
-          { kinds: [DM_KIND], '#p': [self] },
-        ],
-        { signal },
-      );
-
-      // Dedupe by id (a self-sent message can match both filters).
+      //
+      // We stream with `req()` rather than `query()` and wait for *every*
+      // relay to reach EOSE. `query()` resolves on the pool's short EOSE
+      // timeout (the first relay to finish), which silently drops DMs that
+      // only live on slower relays — one cause of "missing conversations".
+      //
+      // Relays return newest-first and cap each REQ at `limit`, so a single
+      // fetch truncates long histories — the oldest conversations (years back)
+      // fall off the end. We page backwards with `until`: after each full page
+      // we lower `until` to the oldest event seen and ask again, stopping once
+      // a page comes back short (nothing older remains). An overall timeout
+      // keeps a stalled relay from hanging the page.
       const byId = new Map<string, NostrEvent>();
-      for (const event of events) byId.set(event.id, event);
+      const PAGE_SIZE = 500;
+      const MAX_PAGES = 40; // hard ceiling: up to ~20k DMs
+
+      const timeout = AbortSignal.timeout(15000);
+      const controller = new AbortController();
+      const onAbort = () => controller.abort();
+      signal?.addEventListener('abort', onAbort);
+      timeout.addEventListener('abort', onAbort);
+
+      try {
+        let until: number | undefined;
+        for (let page = 0; page < MAX_PAGES; page++) {
+          const base = { kinds: [DM_KIND], limit: PAGE_SIZE };
+          const window = until === undefined ? {} : { until };
+          let pageCount = 0;
+          let oldest = Infinity;
+
+          for await (const msg of nostr.req(
+            [
+              { ...base, ...window, authors: [self] },
+              { ...base, ...window, '#p': [self] },
+            ],
+            { signal: controller.signal },
+          )) {
+            if (msg[0] === 'EVENT') {
+              const event = msg[2];
+              // Dedupe by id (a self-sent message can match both filters,
+              // and overlapping `until` windows can re-deliver the boundary).
+              if (!byId.has(event.id)) pageCount++;
+              byId.set(event.id, event);
+              if (event.created_at < oldest) oldest = event.created_at;
+            } else if (msg[0] === 'EOSE') {
+              // The pool emits a single EOSE once all routed relays are done.
+              break;
+            }
+          }
+
+          // A short page means relays had nothing older to give — we're done.
+          // (Two filters at PAGE_SIZE each could yield up to 2*PAGE_SIZE.)
+          if (pageCount < PAGE_SIZE || oldest === Infinity) break;
+          // Step the window back. `until` is inclusive, so subtract 1 to avoid
+          // re-fetching the exact boundary event forever.
+          until = oldest - 1;
+        }
+      } catch {
+        // Abort (unmount/timeout) — fall through with whatever we collected.
+      } finally {
+        signal?.removeEventListener('abort', onAbort);
+        timeout.removeEventListener('abort', onAbort);
+      }
 
       // Group by counterparty pubkey.
       const byPeer = new Map<string, NostrEvent[]>();